I read this line yesterday and it got me thinking about nonconformity.
“A culture that prizes traditional conformity, for example, may perceive specific kinds of individual rights and freedoms (e.g. freedom of speech) to pose a threat.” —Geographical Psychology, Exploring the Interaction of Environment and Behavior edited by Peter J. Rentfrow
There certainly is ease within organizations or families when conformity rules. However, there also is a lack of creativity and innovation when we don’t have opposing viewpoints to challenge our long-held assumptions.
“A man must consider what a rich realm he abdicates when he becomes a conformist.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
Similarity or perceived similarity creates PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY to speak our minds, knowing that people basically agree with you. The poet Ralph Waldo Emerson refers to the people in our lives who challenge us as “BEAUTIFUL ENEMIES”. What an apt description, huh? We need to be challenged to be stretched. Keep your beautiful enemies close AND consult them often.
How do we share our perspectives without making others wrong?
Perhaps the goal isn’t to change minds.
What if our goal was simply to be HEARD?
To be heard, we have to LISTEN. Really listen.
Now, if I can practice what I preach, my teenagers would tell you I have a lot of work to do.
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I have a very helpful one page pdf file titled Blocks To Listening. It’s a real game changer for both our personal and professional lives. I thought I was a decent communicator—I learned that I was way off the mark in so many ways. E-mail me to request a copy.
even when they start out pretty funky. That’s what happened to me today. I’m glad I was paying attention. I drove to Putney, Vermont to see my son at Landmark College. As the parent of 20 and 16-year-olds, I have to stay on my toes and I was this morning…tippy tippy toes, actually. I headed south from Burlington and made some remarkable stops along the way. Good golly, Vermont is staggeringly beautiful in October. WOW!
I stopped at the Red Hen Baking Company in Middlesex, VT for coffee and a cheddar bacon scone. They didn’t have them today—bummer…coffee and reading my book for a while is nice even without a cheddar & bacon scone. I’m reading “A Short Course In Happiness and Loss” by one of my psychology instructors, Maria Sirois. I graduated with a certificate in Positive Psychology last Friday after finishing a year long certification program through the Wholebeing Institute . I have that post big project and deadline sense of loss. I like deadlines. I guess I’ll have to set some new goals now.
Since, I’ve been home and working mostly alone in my studio for two decades, a certificate in anything actually feels pretty damn good.
I’m not exactly sure how I took this picture, but it captures a moment for me anyway. I had the windows down and the music blasting because, even after coffee, I was still sleepy. The air was heavy and dark. After I saw my son I was heading North on I91 and I missed my exit. The sun was now shining and I was hungry, so I decided to explore White River Junction, Vermont. I’ve driven by this town for 26 years and never stopped. It’s so awesome. I think we all must explore a lot often. Our hearts and brains depend upon exploration My whole day shifted by stopping in this funky Vermont town.
I parked downtown and ate lunch at Tuckerbox, a Turkish restaurant. I had a meze platter—haydari, hummus, babaganoush, Turkish salsa, stuffed grape leaves. YUM!
Then I just decided to take a walk around town before I headed back to Burlington. I bought a vintage denim shirt at REVOLUTION. One can’t have too many of those…right?
Then I walked around the block back to my truck and this is what I came upon…let’s review. 1. I miss my exit. 2. Great Lunch. 3. Cool denim shirt.
4. Then these pedals were all over the steps and sidewalk. Who doesn’t need a little MAGIC in their day?
I was floored…it was so amazing to come around the corner of the street and witness this. I was so wiped out. I was gone all of last week at school and I really needed to be home, but I would’ve missed those pedals. Thank you VALLEY FLOWER COMPANY. You have no idea how much you made my day. Yes, there’s still more…
So I paused for a minute to just take in the pedals on the sidewalk. I took about 11 steps and there was this interesting little jewelry gallery called SCAVENGER. I popped in and the work is right up my alley. One of the artists makes casts out of bugs, twigs, flowers, sea urchins…gorgeous, organic shapes. I bought myself an early birthday present. I even had it wrapped, so I don’t have a picture and I can’t open it until next week. It’s a persimmon flower, very cool shape, greenish, bronzy, patina…her work made me feel like I had uncovered the bracelet on an archeological dig. I’m now a big fan of Stacy Hopkins. Nice people helped me make my choose the piece of jewelry I purchased as well. Yes, really. I felt like I was on a movie set.
Then I headed north—smiling from my adventures…listening to Aretha Franklin really loud and singing along. It poured for a while. I LOVE RAIN. Then it cleared off and the color was just staggering…Aretha and I kept singing and heading north to HOME.
