July 5th, 2022…

This morning on Town Neck Beach…missed connections, a lost wallet, a dropped s’more, forgotten beach toys, and still smoldering bonfires. I briefly helped a guy search for his wallet (it was found). He was so grateful that in return he offered to help me clean up the beach.

I texted the number I blurred out on this note. I didn’t want anyone waiting for a call or text all summer. I hope they have another way to connect with the person they met on Town Neck Beach last night.

4th of July 2022: Parades, friends, family, games, swimming, cocktails, cook-outs., sunsets, fireworks…and another (all too common) mass shooting in America by a young man with a legally purchased, high-powered rifle—a weapon of war.

“When nearly 3,000 people died on 9/11, it was enough to create massive change in our society. Over ten times as many people die from guns each year. Where is the social change?”
DaShanne Stokes

DaShanne was born in RacineWisconsin in 1978. His mother gave birth to him when she was a teenager. He was raised in Las Vegas by adoptive parents of Lakota heritage, who he believed were his biological parents. In 1996 he began higher education at Boston University. In 1998, after moving to South Dakota, he discovered by accident that he was adopted, and he was not biologically a Native American.[1] Stokes has a B.S. in biology from the University of South Dakota; a Master's in psychology from Boston University; an additional Master's in sociology from Minnesota State University, and a doctorate from the University of Pittsburgh in sociology.

one year ago today…

The whole world witnessed the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis. How we choose to respond is up to our own hearts in our own time. I find it challenging work to examine my own biases and prejudices. It’s easier to echo information from “my team” without really looking within.

Pausing even just a minute, allows me to hold far more complexity and gives my rational brain an opportunity to override my emotional brain…of course it doesn’t work all of the time. Summoning the spirit of my Grandpa Lillibridge helps me do this, he was really good at slowing down and listening.

Grandpa was remarkably generous in spirit, deeds, resources, and in his communication style as well. He would listen calmly while I shared my thoughts about boys, books, movies, travel, religion, politics, and the world at large. He died in 1986 when I was twenty, he had a huge impact on me…and still does.

I’ve thought a lot about him during this difficult time in American history. Grandpa wasn’t thrown off by opposing viewpoints and he was almost PATHOLOGICALLY CURIOUS. That was truly a gift to me as a young adult, trying to figure out my place in the world. His presence while we talked made me feel like the only person in the universe.

“You have to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.” —Abe Lincoln

Curiosity was Grandpa’s superpower—history, politics, psychology, music, business, religion…his library possessed a little of everything. He often read all night when I worked for him. He would come in around eleven apologizing for our late start and then proceed to tell me all about what he was reading.

I believe he would be so saddened by the state of our nation today, families divided because of politics, unable to agree on basic ideas. It would break his heart. I know he would encourage my curiosity, empathy, compassion, and challenge me to find more common ground.

Grandpa, please help me stay curious, and to speak authentically without shutting down my head and heart to others.