beach rambles inside & out…

I often have a flood of ideas while walking the beach about what I want to create, write, transform, design and so on. Then I get home and the idea’s intensity subsides. I used to feel quite defeated by this. I don’t anymore.

I can’t possibly create all that I imagine…and there’s some sadness that sometimes accompanies that understanding. However, in this middle school stage of life (I’ll be 55 in October) I finally appreciate (accept maybe) the inevitable ebbing and flowing of my inner creative life, and stop fighting the tide so much.

Here are a few ideas that actually did come to life this week:

I think I’ll give myself a high-five for what I did accomplish. Beating myself up over what I didn’t do this week seems pretty absurd.

transformation

Making something new out of the discarded or neglected is what gives me the most creative energy.  Gutting and remodeling this outdated studio apartment in 2011 was one of my favorite projects of my lifetime.  I learned a lot.  I really like being dirty and tired from physical work.  I slept remarkably well.  I knew my mission.  There were deadlines.

The downside of all-consuming projects for me is that they become an escape and I neglect other responsibilities in my life.  I’m learning something about that now too.  When is a project a craving?  What am I escaping when I’m willing to get so singularly focused?  Who in my life is this affecting?  How?

I’m not entirely sure what’s next.  I’m learning to be OK with the unknown.

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