As a creative who struggles with the blues, looking back at another trip around the sun can be marked by what I didn’t do. I don’t want to drag this feeling of lack & sorrow into 2024. Instead, I want to acknowledge what I DID in 2023. 

My inventory isn’t only about my creative life, that’s just the most tangible for me. Taking time to do this inventory isn’t only better for me but for those in my orbit too. 

A SENSE OF AWE

I witnessed a lot of remarkably soul-stirring predawn light. That time of day is truly sacred to me.

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling. —Frida Kahlo

MY HEROES

I learned that my creative heroes, photographer, Dorthea Lange and Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo were friends. Since I read about their friendship, I’ve imagined spending time with these creative, ambitious, and unconventional women.

TIME TRAVELING

I’ve begun a deep dive into my ancestry. Learning about the events that shaped their lives, their successes, and their heartaches has given me a new sort of grounding in my identity. 

MILDRED, THE MISSING YEARS…

I’m working on a project creating a “what if” multi-media body of work about my maternal grandmother, Mildred. She was living in California in the late 1930s, and no one seems to know much about those few years of her life. I’ve narrowed my research to 1934—1939.

I’m lost in birth, death, illness, dust storms, drought, pre-US involvement in WWII, the Great Depression, fashion, films, music, the New Deal, and the pull of California for Midwesterners. Mildred is becoming so much more alive to me as I research her life in the context of family, cultural, and historical events.

Mildred died in 1964 at the age of 48, a few years before I was born. She’s described as witty, stylish, intelligent, complex, and a good dancer too.

What if she had become an actress in California and never went back to South Dakota?

I’m borrowing photos of the actress Evelyn Brent as inspiration for this project. Putting myself in these images is helping me imagine the story I want to construct about my grandmother’s alternative life. 

A 1930s actress also happens to be my alter ego…so darling, this project is simply marvelous to me.

see, I was a hoofer

music was in my bones

I was real good too

maybe a little too good for the Bible Belt

ART

I’ve made a lot of art and often forget about it until I’m searching for something else. I want to be more deliberate about sharing what I create this year. I used to think of my creative work as a form of meditation. However, energetically I now believe art in whatever form is meant to be shared. 

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE PHOTOS OF THE YEAR

Happy 2024!

I wish you a year filled with whatever sparks you, the courage to let go of what no longer does, and the wisdom to know the difference.

NOTE: The photo of me on the beach was taken by fellow sunrise photographer, Joe Johnson.