oh, the women I’ve met…

Last December, I rejoined a gym in my neighborhood. Access to equipment is great, especially in cold, grey Vermont weather. However, by far the very best part of my gym experience has been the sauna in the women’s locker room.

I’ve met ER nurses, a reproductive lawyer, a writer, a cowgirl, teachers, students, a non-profit director, a doctor, a boutique owner (who got me water recently when I stayed in too long and nearly fainted), and so many other remarkable women.

One woman and I began talking and soon realized that we were both artists and the same woman made our wedding dresses.

In a time when so much of what we are exposed to is deepfakes, or AI-generated—sitting in the dark, wrapped only in a towel, sweating, and talking to other women has been a welcomed respite from the world.

One day a few months ago two older women were talking in the sauna. I was listening at first—although I’m always ready to jump in with a question when I’m curious about something…unspoken sauna rules.

They were telling their stories about Europe during WWII. One of the women described how her Jewish family fled Germany to Switzerland on one of the last trains possible. I stayed in too long that day too.

The other woman, Tereska told the story of her parents who were newlyweds living in Warsaw, Poland when Germany invaded. I wanted to know so much more. Then she told me she wrote a book about her parent’s experience.

I went home, downloaded the audio version, and started listening to The General’s Barber and the Seamstress, A Polish Love Story by Tereska Buko.

When Hitler invades Poland in 1939, newlyweds Józef and Marysia Buko are catapulted into a sudden and heart-wrenching seven-year separation. Józef honors the soldier’s code and is forced to fight battles in many foreign lands. Marysia remains in Warsaw to join in the underground resistance against Poland’s Nazi occupiers. Each faces life-threatening situations demanding courage, faith, and resilience if the couple is ever to see each other again.  

GOODREADShttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37881872

For the last few years, I’ve read a lot about WWII. My prior knowledge was embarrassingly lacking. Having met Tereska, and then reading about Józef and Marysia’s horror, grit, and heart made The General’s Barber and the Seamstress very alive to me.

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Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it.

George Santayana/author/teacher The Life of Reason: Five Volumes in One

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PS I had not seen Tereska since she told me about her book in February. I kept hoping I would run into her. Last Friday I finished listening to the book and went to the gym. Our paths finally crossed again in the sauna and I learned that her cousin was the voice on the audiobook which personalized the story even more.

Thank you Tereska.

I know very little about…

my great-grandmother or my grandmother for that matter on my maternal side. Nora died in 1938 before my mother was born and my grandmother, Mildred died before I was born.

However, in this chapter of my tender, and profoundly inquisitive, middle-age life, I want to know more about the women I share DNA with. They’re a part of me, my mannerisms, my choices and so much more that I’m completely unaware of. I need to know more.

Who was Nora? Mildred? What did they love? What did they fear? What made them laugh?

Unraveling the mystery of who they were simply will not leave me alone right now.

My father died just over a year ago and I so wish we had videotaped him telling some of his favorite stories. When families start losing a generation, the stories often disappear too.

This Thanksgiving folks, ask the elders at the table to share their stories. Let the kids ask questions and record their responses. You will be so happy to have the assurance that these treasured stories won’t disappear and can be shared for generations.

Enjoy your time together asking about the good ole’ days.

Happy Thanksgiving!

PS To any Kyte or Millette relatives who might read this, please contact me. I would love to learn more about Nora and Mildred. I would be so grateful for anything you’re willing to share.