be a goldfish…

I thought I would write part two of Farewell 2021 being nostalgic and looking back over my year.

I started sorting my photos, many of those memories were truly delightful. I met two brilliant & handsome 18-month-old boys (Cru, my great-nephew, and Roger, the grandson of dear friends). I also saw The Rolling Stones for the very first time.

Other memories of 2021…well, let’s just say they weren’t ALL delightful. I learned a helluva lot though.

This morning, I watched a TEDtalk Choices that can Change your Life by Caroline Myss. This got me thinking about the nature of choice, the power of language, integrity, and how I can observe my own behavior in new ways. Caroline’s TEDtalk won’t land the same for everyone, being reminded of the POWER OF CHOICE was what I needed to hear today.

“I will not pass my suffering on, but my wisdom.” —Caroline Myss

wisdom NOT woe, check…

Today, I’m making a choice to spend more time thinking about and planning my future than dwelling on my past…especially childhood bullshit. I’m 55-years-old, good grief it’s time.

I want to look forward with an expansive, heart-swelling sense of the endless possibilities that exist in the universe. This is my goal, aspirational I know and I will slip up often. Ted Lasso’s advice just might help me stay on track.

“You know what the happiest animal in the world is? It’s a goldfish. It’s got a 10-second memory.

Be a goldfish!”

—TED LASSO

In 2022 want to be more like a goldfish than an elephant.

Thank you Judith for sharing this TEDtalk. ❤️

Thank you, Caroline Myss, and the writers at Ted Lasso.

Wow, I guess the TEDs really spoke to me today.

farewell 2021…part one

When looking through my photos of 2021 they didn’t reflect the heaviness of the world I was often feeling. I noticed that I captured the creativity, playfulness, people, and extraordinary beauty I was experiencing on a daily basis. What sparked and amused me helped me manage all of the stuff I couldn’t photograph.

This year we’ve all been greatly affected by the pandemic, the January 6th attack on our democracy and all of the events and circumstances our family, friends (and the world) have been through. Today on the first day of 2022 I see one zig zaggy path forward for me…a motto I will need to remind myself of frequently.

Life is absurd. Enjoy the ride.

This is one of my favorite photographs this year was taken at Halverson’s on Church Street in Burlington, Vermont in April. Willa had just dyed her hair…just imagine a world without color?

I don’t see this guitar in any shape or form except when I preview this page. Instead of wasting more time when I want to take a walk and a dip, I’m leaving this ghost guitar drawing.

sparked, amused & embracing the absurd:

“Happiness and the absurd are two sons of the same earth. They are inseparable.”
― Albert Camus

Here’s a glass of sunshine for you in 2022!

a few thoughts on lingering…

Yesterday in my South End Studio NIA class, my friend and instructor Sabrina talked about lingering. She spoke about savoring moments…quiet, personal awareness, and being intentional about not letting those moments fade from memory (or sensation) too soon.

linger: to be slow in parting or in quitting something

This had resonance for me. I’ve thought a lot about lingering over the last 24 hours.

I find beauty and inspiration in so many realms all day, every day. I generally see this part of me as a gift. Sometimes, however, the frequency can feel more like a curse…perhaps lingering is the solution.

I want to linger in the face of…

awe

curiosity

memory

spark

wonder

delight

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers, and I linger on the shore, And the individual withers and the world is more and more.Tennyson

Thank you Sabrina! ❤️

the epidemiology of LACK…

Researching the epidemiology of LACK hasn’t been an easy process…necessary, but not easy by any measure.

When I’m feeling less than, envious of others, or deserving of something I desire I tell myself I have a bad case of LACK or THE LACKS.

When LACK comes on (more often than I care to admit) I can notice (most of the time) that it’s my EGO & not my TRUE SELF in the emotional driver’s seat.

My EGO has road rage, cuts people off, and blames others for everything. My TRUE SELF is compassionate and lets people cut into traffic because they just might be having a really bad day.

Once I identified the annoying (and exhausting) symptoms of LACK, I wanted to lessen the impact they had on my mood. I put these steps in place.

My self-esteem comes from acknowledging ALL OF ME—warts and all. OK, Lisa, you think you’re coming down with LACK—why and what, let’s figure it out.

Ego takes the quick fix, the easy route, and chooses props, image, identity, distractions, other people’s energy, ways to self-medicate and avoid the truth.” —Melanie Tonia Evans

Sometimes the malady of LACK can feel so overwhelming I want to blow up my entire life. Other times only a small shift is required—noting what’s going well, taking a nap, or a walk to soothe the symptoms.

I guess it depends on the viral load at the time.

PS Sometimes when a case of LACK comes on, I’m given valuable insight about an issue in my life that needs to be addressed. A case of LACK isn’t always bad.

SOURCES: Merriam WebsterMelanieToniaEvans-big-egos

life is not so black & white..

it’s mostly shades of complex grey and every once in a while when we use our vision, there are brilliant pops of color that truly delight and help us see other perspectives.

once a scavenger…

I’ve been a scavenger since I was very young.

SCAVENGE: search for & collect (anything usable) from discarded waste

For a few summers, I’ve walked Town Neck Beach in Sandwich, Massachusetts at sunrise and picked up trash. I’ve collected so many items with no idea how I would ever use them. So, I categorized and stored them…seeing their potential.

Late last summer I surveyed my scavenged goods and an idea was sparked.

I went to work, the hours flew by…

CREATE: to produce something new by using your talents and imagination

Thank you Russell for trying out my sea chair after rambling upon us on a chilly Town Neck Beach morning.

Source: Merriam Webster

in total AWE…

I’ve only been on two flights since the start of the pandemic. What a gift it was to see the world from the perspective of an airplane again.

LANDING IN MINNEAPOLIS

“The Earth is a fine place and worth fighting for.”
—Ernest Hemingway

we the apples…

We’ve had a bumper crop of apples this year. I’ve picked, gleaned, and shared them. Somehow they’ve seemed uniquely personified to me.

Forgive me for getting a little woo woo about my backyard bounty and all caught up in meaning & metaphor.

I couldn’t resist.

crop: the product or yield of something formed together

democracy: an organization or situation in which everyone is treated equally and has equal rights

selfish: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself, seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

authoritarian: of, relating to, or favoring a concentration of power in a leader or an elite not constitutionally responsible to the people

When our individuality is overvalued, we can become selfish and lose something so magnificent about being human, connected, and sharing this planet together.

rot: 1. to undergo decomposition from the action of bacteria or fungi; morally corrupt

experience: the process of doing and seeing things; having things happen to you

empathy: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another

If our democracy is going to survive, we must develop the capacity to see everyone as unique, belonging, AND equal in every single way.

We the People Apples of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Constitution of the United States of America (1787)

dumbstruck & gobsmacked…

Yesterday was my 55th birthday, it was an extraordinary day in so many ways. Thank you universe, you really stepped up this year. Autumn has always been my favorite time of year and not just because I was born in October.

“A man is what he thinks about all day long.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ve thought about this quote and others of this ilk a lot lately—we are the company we keep and what we focus on grows, what you become, you think…the list goes on & on.

Reading news, focusing on lack or placing blame for for how I FEEL creates chaos in my mind and wastes my energy. I’ve deliberately surrounded myself with beauty in the last week. This is pretty elemental I suppose. However, my mind’s inclination can shift on a dime if I’m not paying attention. This week my screen time is down dramatically and my mood is elevated…seems deliberateness needs to be practiced.

Do I want to be fueled by confusion, fear, and outrage or dumbstruck & gobsmacked by the absolute beauty of the universe?

I’m pretty sure I’ve answered my own question.

prowl, prey & nourish…

It doesn’t matter where I find myself in the world, my natural waking state is roughly an hour before sunrise. I instinctively am a predawn prowler. The nourishing solitude of watching night turn to day stirs something in me that’s deeply primal and ancient.

All summer I roam Town Neck Beach in Sandwich, Massachusetts following coyote tracks and scavenging the beach. Back home in Vermont now, my predawn habits shift. However, my prowling and the way I feel doesn’t change one bit.

dawn: to begin to grow light as the sun rises

prowl: to move about or wander stealthily in or as if in search of prey

wander: to move about without a fixed course, aim, or goal

prey: an animal (idea, objects?) taken by a predator (scavenger?) as food (nourishment)

scavenge: to salvage from discarded or refuse material

nourish: to promote the growth of

What else, other than nourishment, are the coyotes prowling for in their predawn wanderings?

What I’m searching for when prowling, other than solitude, shifts dramatically like the tides of the North Atlantic.