searching…


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I am finding myself at a major crossroads in my life and I’m actively searching for a needed change. I am 47. My son is leaving for college this fall and my twin daughters are starting high school. My husband has changed his life dramatically and he is doing work that is both meaningful and engaging. I usually define myself as an artist, but the path has been pretty rudderless this last year. I’m taking some time—trying to gain a better understanding of how my talents can be best utilized. I want to use my powers for good (rarely for evil). I don’t mind the search. The process is a little painful, but never dull. It will be interesting to see what is revealed (or not) in the future. I would love to hear your stories of life’s transitions if you’re interested in sharing.

11 thoughts on “searching…

  1. Everyone will go through the same thing you’re going through… I suggest you look back to where you’ve been- recollect and reflect. I may just be a seventeen-year-old, but I’ve gone through a lot and I believe that we are best defined for the next action we take after our demise, and not what we do about our falls. As long as we have people we care for, who also care for us, we will always try our best in finding ourselves…even though we’ve never ever been lost…we just forgot to look back sometimes. I hope I helped 🙂 even if it’s in the slightest bit.

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      • I’m talking from experience and the experience of others I’ve heard.. I’m glad if you’ve considered the things I’ve said 🙂 I can’t say I’ve gone through what you’re going through- but it’s similar.

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        • Life is complicated no doubt. I guess not getting frustrated with the journey and just moving forward can sometimes be good enough. In our society sometimes it just never seems like enough. Realizing that sometimes it is enough is liberating.

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          • That’s true. Time is pretty stubborn and always keeps moving forward. And because time is something we all need to live with, we have to move with it as well..

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    • I appreciate your perspective as a 17 year old. I tend to negate all that I have done because my creative mind is never at rest. It never seems like enough. Sometimes it is enough. You’re right with people we care for and who care for us we can never be truly lost. I wish you the best on your journey.

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  2. I relate to your struggle. I feel like I’m continually wanting to evolve but not always sure what direction to go or what to do differently. While I’m excited about current projects that are part of my search for something more fulfilling, I’m equally terrified of failure or not meeting my soaring expectations of success, which is paralyzing when trying to take those first baby steps. I just try to focus on the present with one eye toward the near future, reminding myself that I need to make a good effort. If I give in too easily or early, I’ll regret it, never knowing what might have become of my ideas and pursuit of change/evolution.

    My guess is you already know all this, and the best advice is to simply continue with your search. It may take some time, but one day something will click and lead you in an unexpected and thrilling direction 🙂

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  3. Having been an artist for many years and involved in creativity virtually my whole(long) adult life, what you say resonates with me.
    There have been many occasions that have not made sense. Times when things are going well but a nagging something wanted my ‘self’ to seek out more.
    My elderly mother is a person to whom I turn for inspiration. She has similar qualities to myself and that is she won’t allow herself to get stuck. She would be creating a garden today and would have done for some five years, when suddenly she isn’t and she has taken up knitting with the same gusto. She remains young at heart and a feisty 93 years of healthy activity.
    The point here is that nothing remains the same. We are constantly changing and to embrace the changes puts us ahead of the pack.
    Having children, raising children and seeing them leave the nest is always going to be difficult. However the opportunities are immense. So what if you were recognised as an artist, move on and become another artist. Or take up a new career it’s your time and you should spend it as you see fit.
    You thing you must not let yourself do is stay who you are. You say thanks to yourself and move on to a better you.B

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