studio alchemy…

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When I allow myself to goof off in my studio… Continue reading

interior ruckus…a poem about motherhood

interior ruckus—part one

i had no idea at twenty-nine
an unfamiliar inner voice
so bossy, persuasive
now, right now

hormonal messengers
working overtime
baby, baby, baby

OR so i assumed...

in my 20s, i knew so little about my biology 
youth doesn't ask many questions
baby, baby, baby

oh, to possess that blissful ignorance again

i understand now…
my ancient biology didn’t take over,
my private sociology did

interior ruckus of
age & expectations
my societal & familial programming
working overtime
interior ruckus—part two

period late
hopeful & cautious
baby, baby, baby 

a September birthday?
NOPE, not this month
my body sighed

moons passed
late again
my body whispered, YES
a winter birthday?
baby, baby, baby

my son arrived
late in February 
all giant and squirmy
and mine
 
three years later
that familiar drumbeat
my personal sociology 
our son needs a sibling

my body whispered again
maybe baby?
Saturday—NO 
Monday—YES, and...
babies, in my wife? 

baby A & baby B
gritty little homesteaders
inhabitants of my territory
overlapping claims
our complex symbiosis 

my daughters arrived
in the middle of May 
all tiny and squirmy
and mine
interior ruckus—part three

mothering through menopause
hormones tectonic
& not just mine

age and expectations
divergent boundaries
epicenters evershifting
interior ruckus

a lifetime spent studying the waves
vibrations recorded
push and pull
energy released
expected

motherhood's seismic shift
less vigilance now required
when monitoring underground movement
tremors are expected

my interpretations of modernism, impressionism & baroque movements…

Modernism (1875-1960) The responses of modernists to modernity range from triumphal celebration to agonized condemnation and differ in mode from direct picturing of the impacts of modernization to extreme renovations of purely artistic assumptions and practice.  —Google Arts & Culture 

Standing Girl, Egon Schiele c. 1908-1909

I know my interpretation of Egon’s-Standing Girl doesn’t possess the same raw sexuality in any way. However, slowing down is shifting my perspectives in many ways & not just in my creative work.

Impressionism (1860 - ...) Impressionism is a 19th-century art movement characterized by relatively small, thin, yet visible brush strokes, open composition, emphasis on accurate depiction of light...ordinary subject matter...crucial element of human perception and experience.  —Google Arts & Culture 
Baroque (1600 - 1725)  Usage of the term is often extended to the whole period 1600–1750 without qualifying restrictions, or improperly to mean a florid and elaborate style in art, architecture, music or literature, of any date from late antiquity to the early 20th century.  —Google Arts & Culture 

https://artsandculture.google.com/category/art-movement

Oh, the places we go …

Featured

Some mornings I feel settled, calmly visiting with Jeff over coffee, reading what I choose, editing photos, and having a bit of discipline not to jump from thought to thought.

Today, however, was definitely not one of those days, maybe the snow threw me off, yesterday was SPRING for goodness sake.

I looked at my browser history for some insight. I could somewhat follow my own tracks. However, if I disappeared today even the most intuitive detective would not know where to begin to understand my bread crumbs…sourdough, whole wheat, cranberry walnut, cheddar jalapeno, then a lone Dorito perhaps?

OOhhhh, I want a cheddar jalapeno bagel now, I can finish this later…or maybe not at all.

Try being a detective and see if you can decipher your own state of mind. I didn’t solve anything. However, I am stepping away from the screen for a while and doing something else.

Here are my links, as if you don’t have enough bread crumbs of your own.

https://calmigo.com/pages/the_science_behind_calmigo

https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/malignant-narcissism-stereotypical-characteristics-of-a-cult-leader/

https://www.inikaorganic.com/blogs/natural-beauty-hub/kangaroo-paw-flower#:~:text=It%20hydrates%20and%20brightens%20the,the%20moisture%20our%20complexions%20crave.

Father and Daughter by Paul Simon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COQPSoRFdwg

Trust your intuition
It’s just like going fishin’
You cast your line and
Hope you get a bite

—Paul Simon

more images from my prairie & sea series…

There is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky; there is one spectacle grander than the sky, that is the interior of the soul.

—Victor Hugo, French author of Les Misérables