Sometimes things are so obvious and yet we still can’t see. We all have our blind spots and it can be actually comical how we choose to not see them. It could be something painful, or an issue we just don’t want to tackle right now or a challenge that has become a permanent blind spot. And no matter how glaringly the universe is revealing it to us—we have rendered it INVISIBLE. Our brains are ridiculously adept at this maneuver. I am trying something different now. Instead of avoiding the issue (which I am masterful at, trust me) I am trying to address how I am FEELING about the issue at hand. It’s actually a pretty big game changer and not too hard to get the hang of, but it requires practice just like anything else.
When you can identify the feeling,
sometimes the solution becomes way more obvious.
Example: I have twin 14-year-old girls. They are sooooo loud. The sing all the time (even at really strange times like during dinner in the middle of a conversation) and it makes me mad. Actually mad. So, the last time it happened I just said to myself, “Why is this making me so mad?” The answer came immediately to me. “I felt mad because I needed more time alone and some quiet to recharge”. That was easily repairable (I took a bath) and the fall-out from getting angry at 14-year-old girls isn’t so easily repaired and all it took was asking myself one relatively simple question.
I am going to try to use the image of WALDO to remind me see the obvious.
WHY WALDO? TELL ME WHY?
“One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
I can think of way worse things they could be doing! Maybe they’ll stop once they realize they can’t get a rise out of you! Good idea to ask the feelings question.
Good luck with that Lisa, ‘anything year olds’ can be exasperating and I hope you can find it in your heart to laugh when you next want to avoid such a confrontation.
“Just walk away Renee” – the Rick Price version, is a song that is a bit cheesy, but it’s a phrase that is great for such situations.
I give you 24 hours and then if you last that long, I will extend it to 48 – then 96 get the drift. It will become easier in an exponential manner.
If that doesn’t work – shift.B