interior ruckus—part one
i had no idea at twenty-nine
an unfamiliar inner voice
so bossy, persuasive
now, right now
hormonal messengers
working overtime
baby, baby, baby
OR so i assumed...
in my 20s, i knew so little about my biology
youth doesn't ask many questions
baby, baby, baby
oh, to possess that blissful ignorance again
i understand now…
my ancient biology didn’t take over,
my private sociology did
interior ruckus of
age & expectations
my societal & familial programming
working overtime
interior ruckus—part two
period late
hopeful & cautious
baby, baby, baby
a September birthday?
NOPE, not this month
my body sighed
moons passed
late again
my body whispered, YES
a winter birthday?
baby, baby, baby
my son arrived
late in February
all giant and squirmy
and mine
three years later
that familiar drumbeat
my personal sociology
our son needs a sibling
my body whispered again
maybe baby?
Saturday—NO
Monday—YES, and...
babies,in my wife?
baby A & baby B
gritty little homesteaders
inhabitants of my territory
overlapping claims
our complex symbiosis
my daughters arrived
in the middle of May
all tiny and squirmy
and mine
interior ruckus—part three
mothering through menopause
hormones tectonic
& not just mine
age and expectations
divergent boundaries
epicenters evershifting
interior ruckus
a lifetime spent studying the waves
vibrations recorded
push and pull
energy released
expected
motherhood's seismic shift
less vigilance now required
when monitoring underground movement
tremors are expected
Last week over coffee with friends we discussed checking our day-to-day reality against the news and social media feeds. We all agreed that our own experiences/interactions average about 97% positive out in the world.
Our lives are bombarded with constant messages designed to provoke an emotional reaction—a click to like or share, make a purchase, or a donation.
Does my experience map to what I’m told I should be feeling? What is the motivation? Who profits? Who or what is harmed by this message? Why?
I remembered the October testimony before Congress of FACEBOOK whistleblower Frances Haugen so I looked for some of her quotes. I included the C-SPAN link below.
“I’m here today because I believe Facebook’s products harm children, stoke division, and weaken our democracy.” —FRANCES HAUGEN, FACEBOOK WHISTLEBLOWER
FACEBOOK obviously isn’t alone in this practice—corporate advertising, influencers, lobbying groups, politicians, churches, colleges, non-profits, the list goes on and on. Many organizations are well worth our energy/resources AND many are designed to either create outrage or tug at our heartstrings.
If profit is to be made off of manipulating my emotional life, it seems like an act of revolution to first put my response through a reality/values filter.
It takes just a moment and when I take the time, I feel less manipulated and more in control.
manipulate: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose
emotion: a strong feeling (such as love, anger, joy, hate, or fear)
profit: the compensation accruing to entrepreneurs for the assumption of risk in business
reality: something that actually exists or happens, a real event, occurrence, situation, etc.
values: something (such as a principle or quality) intrinsically desirable
filter: to pass or move through
“There is a pattern of behavior that I saw [at] Facebook: Facebook choosing to prioritize its profits over people.”
Thank you, Joan, Mary, Christie, and Maggie for the coffee time spark. Also thank you Willa for the drawing of your that I used in the reality filter graphic.
