so challenging & so necessary…


When my kids were little I wanted to see all of the similarities to me and other family members…moles, mannerisms and so much more.  Those observations were really fun—welcomed and celebrated.

However, as a parent of young adults I’m acutely aware of how they are differentiating themselves now.  It isn’t easy to “parent” their emerging adulthood and separateness, but it’s really quite necessary.

differentiate lisa lillibridge

I’m trying to understand their choices and what they represent—freedom, a (hopefully) healthy sense of self and discovering their place in the world.  This is really important work for all of us. I feel more compassionate and slightly less pissed off when I access how I felt at sixteen or twenty years old. Sorry Mom and Dad.  I had to do what I had to do.

Our kids are trying to understand this brand new adulthood thing and the process is a little clunky (to say the least) for everyone.  Young adults that on occasion still need us like they are little kids.  Little kids who want the privileges that come with adulthood.  And parents who would much rather be snuggled up reading bedtime stories than watching the clock and waiting to hear the car pull in the driveway.

I don’t want to spend a lifetime feeling like there should’ve been one more book read.  One more camp.  One more trip.  One more lesson.  One more skill taught. One more ______________ (fill in the blank). If I don’t let go of the ONE MORE(S) they will keep us all from moving forward.  I’m pretty sure we all want to keep moving forward.

First, I must acknowledge the loss.

Then I have to let them go and trust our imperfect past.

One thought on “so challenging & so necessary…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s