where is my heart today?

We all are a bunch of contradictions.  It’s hard for me to admit that this is true—every part of me wants to deny this about myself.  I would rather have elective dental surgery than investigate this further.  Actually I need some dental surgery, I’ve been putting it off…another contradiction.

I did this quick check today to notice my noticing

Good grief!

where is my heart today

DAMN.

I stared at the words I wrote that are entirely at odds with each other. 

bitter—grateful

loving—rage filled

curious—certain

open—closed

Can I actually hold all of these contractions at the same time? 

YES.  I can easily throw all of these messy, contradictory emotions into my bag, grab my keys, walk out the door and go on with my day.  We all do it all the time.

NOTICING is helping me understand myself a little better. 

I have a lot of emotional work to do
AND I don’t really want to do it.

LIFE IS AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF GREY AREA.

BLACK & WHITE thinking can make us rigid, limiting available options.

Just ask my kids, well, no actually please don’t.

Head or Heart.  Winner or Losers.  Right or Wrong. 

This just isn’t the way the world works.  When it does, things can fall apart.

 

I came across this website today…interesting: DIFFERENCE BETWEEN.

“‘Believing’ means that you have chosen a truth, but ‘knowing’ means that you are certain about that truth.”   

I had to read that line about ten times.

link: difference between knowing and believing

link: difference between religion and faith

AND JUST FOR FUN…

link: difference between casserole and hot dish

Good luck with your noticing.

what we pay attention to matters & grows.

I’ve wasted some time not understanding (or maybe believing) this simple concept.  Every day we wake up with a choice to be made, even when it doesn’t feel like a choice.

choices and attention lisa lillibridgeWho wants to wake up in the morning highly attuned to the things that make them feel like crap?  I honestly don’t, and yet, sometimes I do that to myself.

I want my anger and resentment some days.  I really want to hang out in the house of pain and suffering on occasion.  In the last few years though, I’ve increasingly become aware of the toll those days take on me and everyone in my orbit. My dark days will obviously never go away completely, but thankfully, by noticing where my attention is directed, those days are finally getting to be fewer and far between.

Once I noticed my habits and patterns I couldn’t possibly un-notice them. 

Damnit, I tried pretty hard.  Trust me, I gave it a really good shot.

I love that knowledge can be brilliantly sneaky that way.

Good luck noticing, folks.

A NOTE OF COMPASSION:  Many people suffer with devastating, lasting sadness that requires way more than just noticing habits and patterns.  I don’t mean to diminish anyone’s experience.  I’m only sharing what’s been helpful to me.  I struggle with the blues, not prolonged clinical depression.

south dakota, vermont & cape cod

1. South Dakota (heading west)

2. Vermont (a rainy day road trip)

3. Scorton Creek (meandering to Cape Cod Bay)

Sometimes I need to think…

much smaller.

My thoughts are way too macro right now.

Today, I’m choosing to go micro in my thinking.

I believe my brain will thank me for the respite…even if it’s fleeting.

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Happy International Day of HAPPINESS!

when-we-appreciate-the-good

I’m studying positive psychology with Tal Ben-Shahar through Kripalu and the Wholebeing Institute.  If I hold one thought in my head to make my life better it’s Tal’s quote, “When we appreciate the good, the good appreciates”.

We are what we think and  we’re always capable of changing our thought patterns. We have to BELIEVE that change is possible though.

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF HAPPINESS “A profound shift in attitudes is underway all over the world. People are now recognizing that ‘progress’ should be about increasing human happiness and wellbeing, not just growing the economy.

March 20 has been established as the annual International Day of Happiness and all 193 United Nations member states have adopted a resolution calling for happiness to be given greater priority.”

http://www.dayofhappiness.net/#join

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I spent last week…

at Kripalu in Lenox, Massachusetts studying Positive Psychology.   The program is an online course through the Wholebeing Institute.  There is a lot of helpful information on their site. I fell in love with the remarkable students from all over the world enrolled in this program (especially my small group and roommate).  I don’t quite even have words to describe the instructors and support staff…it will come to me eventually.  I’m truly grateful for the privilege of studying this material and being able to share what I’m learning with my family and friends.

Psychology has always been a passion of mine, however, I wasn’t quite ready to commit to finishing my graduate work (I have nine hours from the University of South Dakota—go Coyotes) and this program came on my radar.  To spend a week with people studying gratitude, authenticity, values, happiness, active listening and love was amazing. (There is a huge body of evidence supporting how much gratitude changes your brain chemistry and increases you happiness).  I thought my photos might actually tell more of a story about my experience than words.  Kripalu is a remarkably peaceful place in the Berkshire Mountains of Western, Massachusetts.  I can’t wait to go back in September.

Here’s the link Kripalu.

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Time, money, effort…#givingtuesday even a little helps a lot.

GIVING TUESDAY LILLIBRIDGE DAKOTA

 

http://www.givingtuesday.org/

gratitude. indeed.

photo_2 photo photo

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photo

Thank you Margaret Ann.

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I had to post some more photos from my trip to South Dakota to see my family.  Our dear friend and “neighbor lady” (always one of my husband, Jeff’s favorite South Dakota expressions) Margaret Ann took us to her farm south of Burke to plant some radishes, pick some spinach and check out the garden.  My daughter, Lucy got some driving practice in on that trip as well.  I wish the barn cats would’ve let us closer to the kittens, but this was as close as I could get.  Thank you, Margaret Ann.

Variations on Gratitude

gratitude lisa lillibridge dakota 1966

quiet lisa lillibridge dakota 1966

girlfriend lisa lillibridge dakota 1966

forgiveness lisa lillibridge