soul pioneers & homesteaders

soul homesteading Lisa Lillibridge

Moving thousands of miles away from the security of family and friends, settling or cultivating unfamiliar land and trying to create something out of nothing is what many of our ancestors did in order to create a new life for themselves and their families.

  • PIONEER noun: a person who is among the first to explore or settle a new country or area
  • HOMESTEADER noun: someone who acquires or occupies territory as a homestead

I believe my heart and mind are new territories meant to be explored continually—expectations managed as circumstances dictate. I’m a pioneer on my very own emotional homestead, granted the privilege to manage exactly as I choose.

Excerpt from The Homestead Act of 1862

Claimants were required to “improve” the plot by building a dwelling and cultivating the land. After 5 years on the land, the original filer was entitled to the property, free and clear…”

“The Homestead Act, enacted during the Civil War in 1862, provided that any adult citizen, or intended citizen, who had never borne arms against the U.S. government could claim 160 acres of surveyed government land. Claimants were required to “improve” the plot by building a dwelling and cultivating the land. After 5 years on the land, the original filer was entitled to the property, free and clear, except for a small registration fee. Title could also be acquired after only a 6-month residency and trivial improvements, provided the claimant paid the government $1.25 per acre. After the Civil War, Union soldiers could deduct the time they had served from the residency requirements.”

https://www.ourdocuments.gov/doc.php?flash=false&doc=31

my emotional cliff-notes 2019…

CLIFF-NOTES noun: A summary of a much longer work designed to allow a student to quickly learn the key points of the her longer work.

dictionary.com
  • I’m far too serious…the universe is meant to be played with.

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”

—Aldous Huxley

  • I need to ask more questions about everyone in every situation, every time.
  • Being human is damn challenging, occasionally there are some nice stretches of ease.
  • Everyone’s hurting somehow and their behavior most likely has nothing to do with me.
  • Boundaries are compassionate and necessary.
  • Showing up, all used up doesn’t help anyone.
  • I shouldn’t offer advice unless it’s being requested…and then I should double-check and see if it’s really being requested…and then check just one more time to be sure.
  • When I think I deserve MORE of whatever (fill in the blank on any given day) first, I must assess all that I am truly grateful for in my life.

Dear 2020, I will try to use my 2019 Emotional Cliff Notes.

NOTE: Photo credit to Andrew Silva, crone wisdom tattoo courtesy of Adobe Photoshop.

I don’t like the word manifest

Yup, I said it and I mean it. Let me explain myself a bit.

For years I wouldn’t purchase “Proven Winners” at the garden center or read anything on The New York Times Best Sellers List. I’ve always preferred the less shiny, weathered or worn out…the underdogs.

Maybe this quality is a reaction to the relative comfort in which I was raised. I was already given so many advantages, shouldn’t I just accept second best? Doesn’t that balance the universe out a little tiny bit more? More on ZERO SUM THEORY next year.

Now, I understand this thinking as an attempt to differentiate myself. Because of course “Proven Winners are a solid choice, especially for casual gardeners. And not reading The New York Times best selling books…well, that’s just plain ridiculous.

OK, back to manifest and why I’ve come to dislike it. It’s lost its gravity for me. You know, like when “love ya” is tossed off and repeated far too often. Yuck, whatever...

So, I looked up the words related to MANIFEST on the Merriam Webster and found them far more provocative; bare, disclose, unbosom, uncloak, uncover, advertise, blaze, proclaim, trumpet…

and the underbelly words too; beliemisrepresent, distort, falsify, garble, camouflagedisguise, gild, varnish, whitewash, concealcounterfeitmaskobscureveil

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all in with whatever you want to MANIFEST and the hustle of MANIFESTING kind of makes me swoon, especially as we approach the fresh start of a new year.

Oh, I do love a fresh start. Here’s to 2020…

However, this year for me I’m going to UNBOSOM or UNCLOAK what I want more of in my life.

Manifesting is so 2019, right?

Happy New Year!

are your barriers real or imagined?

I’ve had a really hard time getting out of my own way lately. So, I asked myself this very question.

OK, Lisa, are they real or imagined?

Damnit, I had to answer honestly…most of them, of course, are imagined.

They aren’t barriers per se, they’re just excuses—everyday run of the mill, tried and true excuses I’ve used for years and years and will continue to use far too frequently. However, now I have to face at least a little personal accountability, especially around my creative goals.

So, what barriers are you willing to bust through to reach your goals?

Finding ways to be grounded…

when the world feels like a batshit crazy place is pretty challenging. I don’t know the best way to access a more grounded version of myself, but I do know the quickest. When I’m acting childish and feeling like I deserve more (or less) of whatever—a little gratitude for all of the good things in my life seems to ground me the most.

Gratitude not attitude seems to do the trick.

grounded—mentally and emotionally stable: admirably sensible, realistic, and unpretentious (Merriam Webster)

I’m not entirely sure about “admirably sensible” or “unpretentious“. However, feeling grounded, well, that’s worth a little exploration.

Dear Summer 2019,

Thank you for all of the lovely memories.

I learned a lot about myself over the last three months,

it wasn’t easy, but truly necessary.

With Loving Gratitude,

Lisa

PS The autumnal equinox arrived in the early morning hours of Sept. 23 (at 3:50 a.m. Eastern), the halfway point between our longest and shortest days of the year. It’s funny how my “middleness” shows up in nearly every aspect of my life.

Well hello autumn, you know you’ve always been my favorite… shhhhhhh don’t tell summer.


Ain’t it funny how the night moves
When you just don’t seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in

—Bob Seger, Night Moves

No wonder I love this time of year, I’m constantly reminded of my “middleness” in nearly every aspect of my life.

tight knots, loose ties & and everything in between…

Last week I posted photographs of fabric fraying with this quote: “Once the fabric of a just society is undone, it takes generations to weave it back together.” —Deepak Chopra

Well, it sure sparked some interesting dialogue. Right now, I do feel that it could potentially take generations to weave our society back together. However, as a rather optimistic realist…I wholeheartedly believe we can. Don’t we all want to feel safe, loved, connected and purposeful? What if we focused on our similarities, not our differences? Threads.

Humans need threads—tight, loose and in-between to other people, places and groups. How we choose to connect our threads is up to us individually.

Are we going to weave from a place of FEAR or LOVE?

When we’re anxious or fearful we tend to look outside of ourselves to make sense of our feelings. It’s so much easier to scan for someone or something else to blame than to be self-reflective and take responsibility for our emotions and actions. I would sooooo much rather blame someone else than acknowledge my own bullshit. I’m working on it. It’s a process.

Right now, it seems to me that politics are filling some sort of identity gap where other threads should be continually and carefully woven.

WHY? Why now?

Our party affiliation won’t ever bring us homemade soup when we’re sick, pick up a middle-of-the-night call when we’re in distress or just show up, even when we don’t understand what we actually need ourselves.  

are we frayed beyond repair?

“Once the fabric of a just society is undone, it takes generations to weave it back together.” —Deepak Chopra

feeling nostalgic as the tide shifts…

As my girls head back to their second year of college, the memories of my family’s past summers are making me exceptionally nostalgic this year. Last week I walked Cape Cod’s, Town Neck Beach in Sandwich before heading north to Vermont.

So much flooded back to me…oh, the remarkable nostalgia of middle age.

While admiring the rocks, I got an idea for a photo series and a way I could honor this time of transition.

My memories feel both permanent and somewhat elusive, they can come and go as the tide shifts…just like these rocks do every six hours.

New England Patriot’s recently retired tight end, Rob Gronkowski once remarked, “I just like the beaches in summer, man.”

I wholeheartedly agree, Gronk.

karmic shadows…

No one can entirely escape their inherited genetics, the often told family stories, or emotional baggage of our ancestors.

Often, the burden of our family karma, or ancestral grief can feel far more like a cumbersome steamer trunk than a convenient carry-on bag. Thankfully, we actually don’t have to drag the damn steamer trunk around for the rest of our lives. Sometimes these are simply stories told through generations, held too closely and past their expiration date of relevance.

Recognizing that I actually had a choice took a very long time. This has provided a certain emotional liberation that I don’t yet entirely understand. However, I do know that I feel much lighter and have freed up some emotional bandwidth for matters in the here and now requiring my heart and energy.