Tag Archives: Letting Go

so challenging & so necessary…

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When my kids were little I wanted to see all of the similarities to me and other family members…moles, mannerisms and so much more.  Those observations were really fun—welcomed and celebrated.

However, as a parent of young adults I’m acutely aware of how they are differentiating themselves now.  It isn’t easy to “parent” their emerging adulthood and separateness, but it’s really quite necessary.

differentiate lisa lillibridge

I’m trying to understand their choices and what they represent—freedom, a (hopefully) healthy sense of self and discovering their place in the world.  This is really important work for all of us. I feel more compassionate and slightly less pissed off when I access how I felt at sixteen or twenty years old. Sorry Mom and Dad.  I had to do what I had to do.

Our kids are trying to understand this brand new adulthood thing and the process is a little clunky (to say the least) for everyone.  Young adults that on occasion still need us like they are little kids.  Little kids who want the privileges that come with adulthood.  And parents who would much rather be snuggled up reading bedtime stories than watching the clock and waiting to hear the car pull in the driveway.

I don’t want to spend a lifetime feeling like there should’ve been one more book read.  One more camp.  One more trip.  One more lesson.  One more skill taught. One more ______________ (fill in the blank). If I don’t let go of the ONE MORE(S) they will keep us all from moving forward.  I’m pretty sure we all want to keep moving forward.

First, I must acknowledge the loss.

Then I have to let them go and trust our imperfect past.

The process of LETTING GO…

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Lillibridge 2014

These were the first two words in my head this morning at 4:50 (good golly). LETTING GO. There are a number of reasons I believe we all need to do an inventory of our lives and see what it’s time to let go of…stuff, relationships, old ideas, habits, outdated beliefs, narratives about ourselves and so on. At 47 years old and the mother of three teenagers (my first one going to college this fall) it’s a pretty awesome and terrifying time to do this assessment. However, entirely necessary for the survival of myself and those I love. I was reading this site this morning and thought there were a few gems that could be helpful. Great site—well worth some time.

PS I think I should get a skirt made from this print. I think my twin daughters would wholeheartedly agree that a reminder on my clothing to LET GO would be a really good idea.

Letting Go of Attachment to People (from ZenHabits)
http://zenhabits.net/zen-attachment/
Friend yourself. It will be harder to let people go when necessary if you depend on them for your sense of worth. Believe you’re worthy whether someone else tells you or not. This way, you relate to people—not just how they make you feel about yourself.

Go it alone sometimes. Take time to foster your own interests, ones that nothing and no one can take away. Don’t let them hinge on anyone or anything other than your values and passion.

Hold lightly. This one isn’t just about releasing attachments—it’s also about maintaining healthy relationships. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone’s other half. You’re separate and whole. You can still hold someone to close to your heart; just remember, if you squeeze too tightly, you’ll both be suffocated.