Lately I’ve been thinking about my “shitty roommate”. This is my personal inner voice—she makes me doubt myself all the time. She puts those snarky thoughts in my head that I’m “not good enough”, “not reaching my potential” or “if only you were more like…”.
Shame is the inner language of self-attack and self-blame AND shame is my shitty roommate’s jam.
Instead of trying to kick her out (which is exhausting and nearly impossible), I’ve decided to get more curious about her…even love her up a bit. Yes, she’s manipulative AND she also has pushed me. We’re really quite competitive. When she has my ear, she’s granted me the opportunity to self-correct behavior that doesn’t line up with my values, seek forgiveness from those I’ve wronged or offer myself a little grace.
But now, it’s time to change the rules of engagement using one short sentence.
The more I say it, the more power it has for all sorts of situations in my life.
When I question her language, my shitty roommate just puts her headphones on and leaves me alone until the next time…and there will always be a next time. She hates those three words, however, we do seem to be getting along a little better lately.
wonderful as always – you might enjoy Katie Byron”s The Work… xox
Shame’s power is huge. Brene Brown is amazing if you haven’t read her, but I’m assuming you have. Love this statement!
Love it! I’m so glad to be living long enough to figure some of this stuff out. Lisa, I need a ride to orthopedic doctor to get cast off on Monday, May 22, at 9 a.m. would you be able to take me?
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Well said my friend. So appreciate these beautiful words of wisdom:)