walking on eggshells

walking on eggshells/URBAN DICTIONARY:  To watch what you say or do around a certain person because anything might set him or her off.

I’m trying to notice when I’m walking on eggshells.  When I do, it seems like an invitation for some growth.  I’ve personally mastered some pretty sophisticated avoidance techniques…I’m working on it.  I will work on it for a lifetime.  I’m choosing to celebrate when I have a little bit of awareness that I’m walking on eggshells and at least thinking about what’s required of me next.  Sometimes just one boot in front of the other, no matter how small the steps are is the best we can do.

Lisa Lillibridge walking on eggshells dakota

my gentle giant

I discovered this image of my husband Jeff’s legs this morning.  The photo had cool shadows and movement to work with.  After a bit of goofing off and layering—this series is what emerged.

Jeff is off exploring his world right now in a very BIG way.  The first image on the road reminds me of the South Dakota Monster stories my Dad told all seven of his grandchildren.  I don’t see my husband as a monster though—much more like a gentle giant.

We’ve always told our children that they are part prairie & part sea.  When I started choosing photos to layer with Jeff’s legs I was naturally drawn to images of the prairie and the sea.

Here’s to your big adventures this weekend, wherever your feet take you.

Jeff walking on the prairie Lisa Lillibridgeexploring the prairie lisa lillibridgeJeff Govoni on beach approach bigger than lifeFacing our Fears Lisa LillibridgeJP heading to sea

Taking on the World

  1. South Dakota two-lane road near Burke
  2. Abandoned farmhouse south of Burke, South Dakota
  3. Town Neck Beach approach,—Sandwich, Massachusetts
  4. Everglade National Park in Florida
  5. Town Neck Beach, Sandwich, Massachusetts
  6. Florence, Italy

I’m so guilty..

of being way too serious way too much of my day.  I started out this morning reading the New York Times and all of the crazy political news.  David Duke is back, really?  Then I landed on this piece about “cognitive closure” and it really struck me.  I was so interested in this concept that I read it to my highly disinterested 16-year-old daughter, Lucy.  My husband, Jeff kind of listened to me, but he really just wanted to work on the 1970s song “My Maria” and play his guitar while our cat, Karen watched him adoringlyClearly, I need to lighten up. Goofing off more lessens the anxiety of those around us too.  Our cat was trying to show me what to pay attention to this morning.  Oh the wisdom of Karen.

I think culturally, we just gotta lighten right now.

This political season is making us nuts.

AND YET…I still couldn’t quite help myself.  “Dr. Kruglanski is best known for his theory of “cognitive closure,” a term he coined in 1989 to describe how we make decisions. “Closure” is the moment that you make a decision or form a judgment. You literally close your mind to new information.”  By

Changing habits is hard, fun is coming—I promise.  Conceptually “cognitive closure” is something to consider, especially when you feel unable to see the options available to you and a choice needs to be made.  The middle path always allows us to see a lot more options.  But, it’s much harder to do.  Our brain wants to shut down our options.  It’s way easier than considering new information.  I told you I’m guilty of being way too serious. Good Golly, Lisa enough about cognitive closure (no matter how interesting of a psychological concept this is)…it’s time for fun.

So, after I read this piece I searched for FUN and landed on a country music video about HANGING OUT.  Here’s my gift to you today.  Thank you LITTLE BIG TOWN. You guys clearly know how to lighten up.

Back this hitch up into the water
Untie all the cables and rope
Step onto the AstroTurf
Get yourself a coozie
Let’s go

Enjoy this video, I hope your day is filled with lots of laughs and goofiness.

Watching this video reminded me that we used to hit golf balls off the front of our boat when I was in college.  Oh, we really knew how to play then.

Yesterday was one of the best days of my life…

and I feel like it needs to be acknowledged.  I actually had a moment where I told my husband, Jeff “this is one of my favorite days of my life”. They don’t roll around all the time and they deserve to be savored.

I have to tell you about mine—July 22nd, 2015.

We got up early (6am) and went to the Sandwich, Massachusetts Flea Market to hunt for treasures.  After a stop at Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee with our friend, Christie we began our quest for the odd and collectable.  I found a gorgeous bowl and this tablecloth that I may use as part of a piece for the STRUT fashion show in Burlington, VT in September. Both cost me 9 bucks.

sandwich flea market lillibridge bowl

http://www.thesandwichbazaar.com/summer-market

Then we lathered on sunscreen and took our kayaks to Bourne, Massachusetts.  We wanted a light lunch before we peddled (we have peddle kayaks, not a typo) so we stopped at one of our favorite places; The Lobster Trap for a stuffed quahog and a beer. I ordered a Leinenkugel Summer Shanty (low alcohol, lemony & refreshing) and the rep. for Leinenkugel was seated next to us so our beers were on him.  A nice surprise.

If you don’t know what a stuffed quahog is I have to share with you.  This seafood item is one of the reasons I married my husband.  That was about 25 years ago.  It’s a clam, cooked, chopped and mixed with stuffing, chorizo (a spicy Portuguese sausage that goes beautifully with seafood), celery, onion, garlic and then put back into the shell and baked. You then cover them with butter, a squeeze of lemon (and for me TABASCO sauce) and enjoy.

Jeff wrote this story about them…funny how a stuffed clam can loom so large in our lives.

http://springtideleadership.com/2012/06/09/how-to-make-the-perfect-stuffed-quahog/

quohag lillibridge

Leinenkugel-Summer-Shandy

http://www.lobstertrap.net/home

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http://www.sturgisboatworks.com/ (Where we got these boats.)

Next we took our Hobie peddle kayaks to Monument Beach and unloaded them.  They are fast so you can cover a lot of territory.  I personally couldn’t paddle as far as I can peddle.  We’ve never been boaters and we never have the right gear for anything we do, but I have to admit that these boats have been a blast.  I love seeing the world from the vantage point of the water.

We watched young osprey about to take their first flight (the parents were encouraging them in a tone not unlike mine when I’m trying to get my teenagers to do something). Sorry kids. It wasn’t a pretty birdsong, but watching them was fascinating.

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We heard people laughing on the beach, zig zagged between moored sailboats, saw amazing houses and got to the rough seas at the start of the Cape Cod Canal channel near Mashnee Island…we quickly turned around though to explore calmer waters. I like a little danger in my kayaking, but I’m not stupid.  We went into the Eel River which was stunning.  We saw cranes, oyster beds and homes right on the water that gave it that swampy feeling and with the canopy of the trees it was really cool.

The beauty of this day—alone with my husband on an adventure, free beer, a stuffed quahog, seeing wildlife, getting exercise, fresh air and learning how to read the sea was pretty wonderful.

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oysters

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photo

After a swim to cool off and loading up the kayaks we headed home to shower and take off for a Neil Young concert at the Xfinity Center.  It was a great show—amazing people watching.  Neil Young is probably the musician that informed my young life the most during my freshman year of college in Sioux Falls, South Dakota (University of Sioux Falls, formerly Sioux Falls College—back in the day). Oh, and we didn’t know they were coming but Jeff’s brother, Joe and his wife Gretchen were there too…another fun surprise of the day.

jeff and lisa at neil young neil young lillibridge

I’m not writing this to tell you how awesome my life is.  I’m writing this to encourage everyone to really take notice of those special days and moments in our lives.  We need them to call upon during our darker times.  Honor those days.  It makes life sweet.

I dreamed…

I was standing in front of a huge bank of drawers labeled something like this illustration.  I was able to open and close the various drawers at will and things would stay magically in place.  Well, of course the absurdity of trying to do this wasn’t lost on me, but I had to create the visual about how “in relationship” all aspects of our lives are all the time.

Trying to get various parts of myself to NOT AVOID EACH OTHER other has required a fair amount of strategy.  It seems so obvious, however, when I thought about the reality of this…it wasn’t quite so simple.  Below is a more realistic illustration I think, at least for me.

THE REALITY OF COMPARTMENTALIZATION LISA LILLIBRIDGE

I’ve really tried to integrate who I am in my studio with the woman I bring home to my family. My family would love the woman at the studio. She’s this creative, resourceful, innovative, free-spirit sort of person. And she has chocolate and beef jerky stashed everywhere.

The reality was that my poor family would get a tired, cranky, unresourceful woman who made everyone feel like they were an interruption and a bother.  So, now I’m making a real effort to bring my artist self home with me.  I might manage this only some of the time—but hey, t’s a work in progress & really isn’t everything?

I would love to hear your stories of successes or struggles in this arena.

Lisa sig