fledge, far more than just a verb.

My twin girls are graduating from high school in a few weeks.

We noted when they were born that they would be the Class of 2018.

 Lucy is on the left & Willa on the right—one hour old.

FLEDGE verb (Merriam Webster)

1: to rear until ready for flight or independent activity

This definition of fledge, makes the process sound so simple, so animal.  I’m finding that this process is not so simple and requires some emotional skills far beyond natural animal instincts.  A few questions keep coming up for me.

What do I need to let go of now?

What’s at stake by holding on to my girls too tightly?  Too loosely?

What relationships do I desire moving forward?

Who am I when I no longer have kids at home?

I’m allowing myself to grieve the end of this stage of family life.

I know I won’t hang out in this emotional space forever.

If I stuff these feelings, they’ll leak out in remarkably weird ways.

Perhaps even weirder than usual lately.

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Congratulations to fledglings throughout the land.

Happy Graduation 2018!

 

 

what’s your fork in the road?

 fork in the road defined

 

What is dominating your thoughts today?

What we think about grows.

So, I started asking myself this seemingly simple question.

“What is dominating my thoughts today?” 

It’s been helpful, when I’m actually willing to truly listen and then accept the answer.  Sometimes, I don’t want to accept the answer or shift my mindset…that’s the tricky part.  I’m working on it.

Dear 2018…

PrintDear 2018,

I’m going to work on my judgement and I would really appreciate your support.  My stated goal for the new year is to practice some radical acceptance of myself and others.  I heard this term somewhere recently and it really resonated for me.

acceptance defined: the act of accepting something or someone

It’s actually pretty simple according to Merriam Webster…simple in definition only.  Not in practice.  It will require training, diligence and literally biting my tongue sometimes…and I will fail often and try again.

Is acceptance the polar opposite of judgement?   

Don’t we all want the same things—to be loved, feel safe and possess some sense of belonging in this crazy world.  The world seems to be crying out for more connection, not more judgement.

I’ve noticed that my curiosity can smooth the jagged edges of my judgement. When I get curious about people, ideas, choices, places, well…everything, I’m far less likely to judge, because I jazzed about my new knowledge.  Dear 2018, please help me remember to utilize the power of my curiosity.  MORE CURIOSITY = LESS JUDGEMENT

Here’s to 2018 & whatever you choose to do with it…it’s none of my business.

 

 

a rigid or fluid heart? choose.

 

I don’t want half of my heart to be stone-like.

Thankfully, we always have a choice between being rigid or fluid.

 

what is a broken arrow?

BROKEN ARROW is the code word used for an unexpected event involving nuclear weapons in the accidental launching, firing, detonating, theft or loss of weapon.  When I heard this term on the radio yesterday, I linked BROKEN ARROW to the accidental emotional launches that happen in my nuclear family life.

nu·cle·ar/adjective
1.  relating to the nucleus of an atom
2.  BIOLOGY; relating to the nucleus of a cell

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As a 51-year-old woman, married since I was 25, and raising twin 17-year-old girls, a BROKEN ARROW can easily be disarming—hopefully not devastating.

There have been thirty-two BROKEN ARROW incidents since 1950.  I’ve had many more. However, maybe with more awareness I can launch less frequently.  I’m quite certain my nuclear family would appreciate the diplomacy.

BROKEN ARROW: an accidental emotional launch

reference link: ATOMIC ARCHIVE