I was reminded today of something from my children’s early education days.

That was fine when my kids were developing a sense of how to behave around other kids and caring teachers were asking them to give language to their feelings. However, as adults that’s not nearly enough of a “gut check” on the huge amount of messages coming our way all day, every day. Our bodies give us so much information…heart rate, muscle pain, hunger, thirst, fatigue, shaking hands, sweating and so much more. I know at least for me, the more I notice, well, the more I notice.

And once you notice, you can’t NOT NOTICE.

Terribly well written, I know. If we were talking in person that might make way more sense to you. OK, I’ll try a little harder…

On one hand it’s a good quick question to keep in mind? Does this feel “yucky” to me? However, yucky alone requires deeper exploration as grown-ups. Is my body trying to tell me something my mind wants to override or disregard?

brain its the way it is lillibridge bad-brain-day-lillibridge

My mind wants to override messages the rest of my system is sending constantly.

Sometimes I have to tell my brain to step out of the room. Because it says some utterly crazy bullshit sometimes. I’ve had a quickening heart rate in a situation recently and I took notice. When I listened, I realized that what was required of me was courage, not medical attention. I know I’ll tell my body to leave me the hell alone and let my brain take the wheel again, but now that I’ve noticed…well, you know, I can’t NOT NOTICE.

Positive Psychology teacher/author, Tal Ben-Shahar teaches that sometimes we’re having a “bad brain” day. It’s simply offline. Makes sense, right? Just like having a bad: hair, back, skin, belly, knee, wrist, neck etc. day—we should gives ourselves permission to recognize that we can indeed have a bad brain day. It’s just sending some false data today and if that’s the case, listening to our bodies instead can be the balance our system requires.

If I want to improve my listening skills with other people, I have to at least try to give myself the same courtesy every once in a while. That means I have to listen more. Talk less. It’s 1:24 am and my body is telling me it’s time for bed. Goodnight folks.

Why we need to question everything

This form of psychological abuse typically plays out like so: The gaslighter states something false with such intensity and conviction that whoever is on the receiving end is confused and begins to doubt their own perspective.

The term comes from a 1938 play called Gaslight, in which a husband drives his wife crazy by secretly altering things in her house and making her question her grip on reality.

that every day we are already being “PURPOSEFUL”?

We all do things that make the world a better place on a “micropurpose” level all the time. These adds up to something pretty damn awesome. We make people laugh, prepare food, hold doors, show up, smile, let something go, say “I’m sorry”, pick up the check, sit with people in grief, lend a helping hand, let someone cut in line, turn the other cheek, give hugs, wash things, lend money and encouragement, pick up trash, grab coffee, send gifts, laugh at jokes, buy a drink, text “I love you” or make a phone call, the list goes on and on.

So, instead of beating ourselves up that we haven’t found our life’s purpose—let’s just take breath (or 2 or even 3) and then take a look at how truly purposeful we are every single day of our lives. These purposeful gestures can have a ripple effect making things better for so many beings…including ourselves.