what we pay attention to matters & grows.

I’ve wasted some time not understanding (or maybe believing) this simple concept.  Every day we wake up with a choice to be made, even when it doesn’t feel like a choice.

choices and attention lisa lillibridgeWho wants to wake up in the morning highly attuned to the things that make them feel like crap?  I honestly don’t, and yet, sometimes I do that to myself.

I want my anger and resentment some days.  I really want to hang out in the house of pain and suffering on occasion.  In the last few years though, I’ve increasingly become aware of the toll those days take on me and everyone in my orbit. My dark days will obviously never go away completely, but thankfully, by noticing where my attention is directed, those days are finally getting to be fewer and far between.

Once I noticed my habits and patterns I couldn’t possibly un-notice them. 

Damnit, I tried pretty hard.  Trust me, I gave it a really good shot.

I love that knowledge can be brilliantly sneaky that way.

Good luck noticing, folks.

A NOTE OF COMPASSION:  Many people suffer with devastating, lasting sadness that requires way more than just noticing habits and patterns.  I don’t mean to diminish anyone’s experience.  I’m only sharing what’s been helpful to me.  I struggle with the blues, not prolonged clinical depression.

St. Kitts & Belle Mont Farm

My husband, daughters and I just returned from a trip to Belle Mont Farm on the island of St. Kitts.  Now that we’re awaiting a blizzard in Vermont, our whole vacation feels like a dream.  The beautiful & generous people, the warmth & color, monkeys, mongoose, birds, flora, farm to table food and the views of other islands were all so magnificent.  Belle Mont Farm is a hotel up in the mountains on 400 acres of fertile, organic farmland and tropical forest.  It was remarkably special and now etched in my memory.  I’m so grateful for the experience.

I had a realization while staying at Belle Mont Farm that I often live with a strange sense of guilt when I enjoy nice things. Why in the world do I feel this way?  After a little soul searching, here’s where I landed.  I believe some ancient part of me feels that there’s only so much abundance in the world and I’ve already been granted my share.  I’m not really deserving of more.

This thinking is more than a little absurd, right?  Life is not a zero-sum game.  I’m genuinely happy when other people get to experience cool things.  I don’t think, damn, now the universe has less for me.

ZERO-SUM GAME

a situation in which one person or group can win something only by causing another person or group to lose it

Thank you Belle Mont Farm for the lesson learned I learned about abundance.

 

ancient memories

I shot these images at an ecodyeing workshop at Elizabeth Bunsen’s studio in Burlington, Vermont yesterday.  I have many more photos to share from the workshop however, I thought I would just post these 4 images today.  There is some magic alchemy in this process that has a unique ancient pull.

This process make me feel like a lot of other possibilities and options exist in many realms of my life not just in my creative work.

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