distraction from mending…

Yesterday I went to Target., usually is a fun way to distract myself, especially after months of sheltering-in-place with no shopping—except for groceries, gas, booze, and take out. I was quite enthusiastic as I set out. I even put on lipstick…and then my mask.

I didn’t need anything, just some good ole’ aimless browsing, a coffee from Starbucks, drive home, put things away, recycle the boxes, packaging, or tags. Whew, an hour or so that I didn’t have to think about the state of the world, our nation, my family, or myself.

Thank you Target for the distraction, although upon returning home, I realized just as B. B. King sang, The Thrill Was Gone, at least yesterday anyway.

Q. Why did shopping feel so empty to me? This became my thesis for the afternoon.

I sat outside in the yard with my eyes closed for a few minutes—not meditating, just quiet without distraction.

At first, nothing specific came to me…I sat in the heat a few more minutes. I hate being hot, so that was pretty distracting…and bugs were nibbling at my ankles.

Then something Glennon Doyle wrote about in Love Warrior hit me.

“You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.”
Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior

Glennon also wrote about going to Hot Yoga, her only goal was to stay on her mat and not run out of the room. I think I need to sit more often with my uncomfortableness (and others as well) and stop seeking so much avoidance and so many distractions.

Wait, I love my distractions…let me count the ways…avoidance always serves me so well…

TV, food, my studio, scrolling through my phone, podcasts, a nap, a beer, Netflix, Amazon Prime, news, HGTV, books, magazines, ice cream, potato chips, cleaning anything, driving anywhere…my list of distractions goes on and on.

Come on distractions, work your magic. These feelings are so damn uncomfortable. Make them go away.

At least every once in a while, I think I have to say to hell with my much-loved distractions. Welcome in all of the uncertain, uncomfortable feelings, and let them teach me something about my own heart and how to best mend it.

Then after that exhausting heart-mending work—I’ll reward myself, grab some potato chips, a beer, and watch The Gilmore Girls.

our wolves within…

I have to be mindful of which wolf I’m feeding all the time.

Thank you Jeff Govoni for the wolf drawing.

walking on eggshells

walking on eggshells/URBAN DICTIONARY:  To watch what you say or do around a certain person because anything might set him or her off.

I’m trying to notice when I’m walking on eggshells.  When I do, it seems like an invitation for some growth.  I’ve personally mastered some pretty sophisticated avoidance techniques…I’m working on it.  I will work on it for a lifetime.  I’m choosing to celebrate when I have a little bit of awareness that I’m walking on eggshells and at least thinking about what’s required of me next.  Sometimes just one boot in front of the other, no matter how small the steps are is the best we can do.

Lisa Lillibridge walking on eggshells dakota

Pretending is perfectly OK.

bigger than life fake it till we make it lillibridge

Today I don’t feel at the top of my game, so, thought I would visualize myself BIGGER THAN LIFE.  I don’t have any idea what kind of affect it will have on my mental state throughout the day, however, so far it’s proven to be highly amusing.

small moments…

Lillibridge guitar summer moments

bukowski quote stripes

This image is one of my favorite memories of my whole summer. My husband, Jeff came out on the porch with coffee and his guitar. He strummed. I read the paper. The birds chirped. There was true beauty in that moment. It will always a part of me even when it fades.

I am grateful that my mother taught me to take the time to savor small moments and not live my life waiting for big events. She used to tell my sister and I, “Girls, there are a lot more every days in your life than special occasions.” There are hardly truer words to live by. Thanks Mom.

The Town Neck Company

town neck black and white with image

Today I’m working on finalizing a design for The Town Neck Company. It’s a small business our kids have run the last few years. We helped them start it to bring attention our much loved rocky, cold, Cape Cod Bay (Massachusetts) barrier beach that’s at risk (and teach them a few things about business). There isn’t much sand left and the erosion from the last few years of devastating storms has caused a lot of damage and breaches. This week we found out that we didn’t get a grant for sand replacement that would’ve bought us some time. The whole town of Sandwich could flood if something isn’t done to nourish our barrier beach. We’ve worked with The Trustees of Sandwich Beaches. This organization has done so much to bring attention to TOWN NECK BEACH.

http://www.trusteesofsandwichbeaches.org/

This is a possibility for a canvas tote bag design that our 14 year old girls and their cousin will be selling this summer. I’m having a little trouble with the intricacy of the design and how the printer can work with the dotted nature of the illustration. It may end up looking nothing like this, but I wanted to share it because it’s what I’ve been spending the most creative energy on the most lately.

Here’s to design, beaches, advocacy, awareness and summer!

Please LIKE US on FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Town-Neck-Company/285314701524172

you can’t make me…

Lisa Lillibridge paradigm shift

A friend subtly let me know (in a middle of the night e-mail) that I can’t make her “shift her paradigm” as my blog often references thematically lately. Funny, I actually had a dream that told me the same thing last night and it involved my sister (Laurie I forgot to tell you about this today on the phone). I guess I better pay attention to what the universe is telling me.