on our coffee drive this morning…

Upon closer observation, I loved this tragic and truly fascinating creature.

I felt an odd kinship of sorts, being a bit prickly myself lately.

“The porcupine, which one must handle gloved, may be respected, but is never loved.”

—Arthur Guiterman, poet

 

Here’s my own version of that quote.

The end of the school year mother, which one must ‘handle gloved’, should be respected, always loved and often feared.

The world is a complicated place…

thankfully we have a choice every day.

lisa lillibridge love and hate

TED Radio Hour, second adolescence & hopefully gaining some wisdom

After visiting my family in Burke, South Dakota (population 670ish) last week I’ve returned home to Vermont and made a few discoveries.  I thought I’d share them and maybe you’ve experienced something similar at some point in your life.  As always, I would love to have you shoot me an e-mail and share your thoughts.

Burke Cape Cod Vermont Lisa Lillibridge

This is a mash-up of where I’ve spent the most time in my life.

South Dakota/23 years  •  Vermont/25 years   • Massachusetts/Lots of summers/holidays

1) As a nearly 49 year old woman (October 12th) I no longer visit my childhood home feeling like a child.  It helps when my husband comes with me.  I feel more in touch with my adult life…and much less so when it’s just me and the kids.

2) My children are rapidly growing up and I’m no longer a parent of “young kids”. GOOD.

3) I don’t feel particularly old except that I need “readers” in every damn room.

4) I basically like who I’ve grown to become AND I know that I’ll spend the rest of my life getting to know myself better.  I’m up for the challenge and hopefully the people I’ve chosen to date are up for it too.

5) Life isn’t easy and sometimes during the hard stuff all we can do is “show up” for our people.  However, the hard stuff makes you grow and the good stuff is just pretty wonderful.  And I’m slowly learning (very slowly) to let the bullshit slide.  It isn’t worth my energy now.

6) At this age I am more deliberate about my time, my people and choices. I think “deliberate” feels awesome in nearly every context.

7) Sometimes this age feels like a second adolescence.  I like it, my twin daughters and I are in it together—which is sometimes adorable and sometimes really NOT…but always interesting.  One day they will find it all very funny, I think.

  ad·o·les·cence

photo_2

This photo is our shared sorrow over the end of the “van years”.  I had to fake my sadness, actually. I now drive a VW Passat and I don’t really miss my van…except maybe listening to movies on road trips.  But, now we listen to the TED Radio Hour, This American Life and The Moth on NPR.  We save them up for our trips and they always provide remarkable discussions.

Here are a few links you might enjoy:

A great TED Talk on aging: http://www.npr.org/2015/06/19/414999589/why-should-we-look-forward-to-getting-older

This is an interesting site that was referenced on the TED Radio Hour last week—Stanford Center on Longevity.  http://longevity3.stanford.edu/

Cheers,

Lisa sig

I dreamed…

I was standing in front of a huge bank of drawers labeled something like this illustration.  I was able to open and close the various drawers at will and things would stay magically in place.  Well, of course the absurdity of trying to do this wasn’t lost on me, but I had to create the visual about how “in relationship” all aspects of our lives are all the time.

Trying to get various parts of myself to NOT AVOID EACH OTHER other has required a fair amount of strategy.  It seems so obvious, however, when I thought about the reality of this…it wasn’t quite so simple.  Below is a more realistic illustration I think, at least for me.

THE REALITY OF COMPARTMENTALIZATION LISA LILLIBRIDGE

I’ve really tried to integrate who I am in my studio with the woman I bring home to my family. My family would love the woman at the studio. She’s this creative, resourceful, innovative, free-spirit sort of person. And she has chocolate and beef jerky stashed everywhere.

The reality was that my poor family would get a tired, cranky, unresourceful woman who made everyone feel like they were an interruption and a bother.  So, now I’m making a real effort to bring my artist self home with me.  I might manage this only some of the time—but hey, t’s a work in progress & really isn’t everything?

I would love to hear your stories of successes or struggles in this arena.

Lisa sig

The one message I want my children to leave home with.

effort equals happiness lisa lillibridge dakota 1966