Last weekend I was beyond snarky. I pulled a cardboard box from the recycling and headed (stomped) to my basement studio. I needed paint on my hands and in my hair and to get the hell away from people…all people. Thanks to the late Ric Ocasek, these lyrics capture what I was feeling.
The Cars, Just What I Needed
I don’t mind you comin’ here And wastin’ all my time, time ‘Cause when you’re standin’ oh so near I kinda lose my mind, yeah
I settled down after some time creating—always good for everyone in my orbit. The Butterfly Effect of creativity I suppose. Here are the results of my efforts.
I prefer to be foolish when I feel like it, and be accountable to nobody. ― Willa Cather,My Ántonia
We all are a bunch of contradictions. It’s hard for me to admit that this is true—every part of me wants to deny this about myself. I would rather have elective dental surgery than investigate this further. Actually I need some dental surgery, I’ve been putting it off…another contradiction.
I did this quick check today to notice my noticing.
I stared at the words I wrote that are entirely at odds with each other.
Can I actually hold all of these contractions at the same time?
YES. I can easily throw all of these messy, contradictory emotions into my bag, grab my keys, walk out the door and go on with my day. We all do it all the time.
NOTICING is helping me understand myself a little better.
I have a lot of emotional work to do AND I don’t really want to do it.
LIFE IS AN ABSURD AMOUNT OF GREY AREA.
BLACK & WHITE thinking can make us rigid, limiting available options.
Just ask my kids, well, no actually please don’t.
Head or Heart. Winner or Losers. Right or Wrong.
This just isn’t the way the world works. When it does, things can fall apart.
There is a unique beauty the prairie possesses. The starkness out here is as rugged as the frontier spirit. This is a part of the world that would prefer things stay known, steady and traditional. It never does. Shifts occur.
I’m visiting my family in South Dakota now. I can see both the independence I reveled in as a teenager AND the uncertainty about how the world is changing. Understanding this duality fosters my curiosity about things unknown. I like that. I’m grateful for both my independence and my deep roots here.
Life is a puzzle, people are puzzling and sometimes all we can do is keep looking between the cushions or under the couch for the piece we’re missing.
Let’s all keep seeking understanding and looking for the missing pieces folks. Let’s ask more questions of eachother than lecture. I do believe a little curiosity can change the world or at least your holiday table. It will be a much shorter drive home from Grandma’s if everyone felt heard and respected.
An intense form of mental concentration or visualization that focuses the consciousness on a narrow subject.
I love getting hyperfocused creatively. This lets me rule out all of the other possibilities I get so distracted by all day every day. So right now—February of the year 2016 my focus is on the prairie. My ideas have a place to land and someone to explore them with. This collaborative project is in the conceptual stage, but there’s a guiding principle and that makes all the difference.
I highly recommend, if you haven’t already, to make some choices about where you want to spend your energy. I did an inventory and I realized that a few things on my list just had to go. There isn’t time for everything that interests me. I had to prioritize. It wasn’t easy, but taking a hard look at my list was pretty eye-opening.
OK, whether you are a Libra or not it doesn’t matter. I am, or this wouldn’t be on my radar. Yes, the most important thing is indeed to find out what the most important thing is. The thought of long days of meditation or long walks in wild places sounds truly amazing and a very good practice. However…
I live in Burlington, VT in 2013 with three teenagers, my husband and our cat, Karen. There are lots of important things. Some of those important things like the nesting I did when my family was young I don’t care very much about anymore. I want to put my energy into the whatever is utilizing my talents best and fueling me as well. Ideally something that would allow a late afternoon nap of about 23 minutes would be great too. Perhaps the act of SEEKING is actually the m.i.t. We all have to figure this out ourselves and be open to the people, ideas, stories and signs that might get us closer to the big discovery. Good luck on your quest—wherever it takes you today.